To Where You Are
by Skittles1
Summary: Major spoilers. Mitsuki's POV on the tragic discovery she makes dealing with Eichi and how she reacts to it. Her thoughts and emotions to the events that unfold before her. Can she still sing, can she still hope?


**Author's Note: **_MAJOR _spoilers for the anime series Full Moon wo Sagashite. If you haven't seen where Mitsuki finds out 'stuff' about Eichi, then there are definitely big spoilers. This is Mitsuki's POV on Eichi and what she discovers. It's a one shot and a song fic to the song "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban. Be warned, it's angsty, romantic but with some hope. Just how I like it. Please enjoy and review!

**To Where You Are**

**By: Lauren**

Eichi-kun….Eichi…why when I call out your name, do you feel so much further away? I've been searching for you so long …and yet, I can't believe what I've found now. It doesn't seem right and it doesn't seem fair. Nothing does. I can't even comprehend what I've discovered. It's too unreal.

~*~

_Who can say for certain  
Maybe you're still here  
I feel you all around me  
Your memories so clear___

~*~

All this time, I've been living for you. I've been fighting for you. I've been hiding my scars, smiling and shining for you. I've been shining solely for you, so that one day you'd notice me and find me again. All I wanted was to see your warm, caring smile. I wanted to see those eyes that look into mine with such tenderness and love, I could feel it radiating into my soul and making everything all right. I wanted to be held in your arms and know that I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm happy, because you're here with me and everything is right in the world. Eichi-kun, I wanted to tell you how much I love you. I never got a chance to tell you and it's something I regret every single second of my life. I couldn't believe it when you said you wanted me to forget you. I could never forget you. You mean too much to me. Forgetting you would be like asking the moon not to glow up in the sky or for the sun not to shine. It's just something that's not right. I could never give up those wonderful years I spent with you. Never.

~*~

  
_Deep in the stillness  
I can hear you speak  
You're still an inspiration  
Can it be  
That you are mine  
Forever love  
And you are watching over me from up above_

~*~

When you left, part of me left with you. You promised me when we made our dreams come true, we'd find each other again. My dream has come true now. Has yours? Aren't you up in the sky, in space now? Can that count as becoming an astronaut? Why can't we see each other again? I need to tell you I love you. I love you Eichi-kun, but can you hear me? Do you know? Can my feelings reach you Eichi-kun? Can you hear the words that are whispered in my heart?

~*~

Fly me up to where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are

~*~

I sang for you every day. I worked so hard for you. I worked to find you. Did you hear me singing? Ever? Could you ever hear me up there? Or do the angels sing better than me? Do their divine voices wash out mine? I'm sure you'd laugh at me now, crying so weakly, but I can't help it. The distance between Japan and America seems like nothing to the distance between us now. I couldn't believe it when I found out you were dead. How could you have died like that? How? We still had to find each other…I still had to tell you how much I love you…and weren't you suppose to tell me you love me over and over again until your voice gave out? Your letter said you did. I want to hear your gentle voice once again…

~*~

_Are you gently sleeping  
Here inside my dream  
And isn't faith believing  
All power can't be seen_

~*~

This world isn't right and it's not fair. It's not fair at all. I fought my cancer for you- I fought _death _for you. Two shinigami came to me and I found out I only had one more year left to live, so I dedicated all my energy into finding you one last time and telling you how I truly feel. I want to tell you all the feelings I have in my heart, hidden inside of me, and how they only belong to you. How could have things turned out like this? Why did you have to be in a car accident? I went through hell to get to this point, I did everything I possibly could, how could you have gone and died on me like that? Life isn't fair- it's not right!! Why couldn't I have been with you? Why _can't _I be with you? The snow…the cold…it's numbing me…I want it to numb my body entirely until I don't have to feel this tearing pain anymore. It hurts too much, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my body and broken into pieces. It's too painful and it hurts too much. I only want to be with you. Why do you have to be so unreachable? You're always so far away from me… you're constantly running ahead of me, and no matter how fast I run forward, I'm never able to catch you. My fingertips might brush your shirt, but I can never grasp you, I can never catch you, you always slip from my grasp and eventually, I fall behind and now…now I can't even see you. 

~*~

  
_As my heart holds you  
Just one beat away  
I cherish all you gave me everyday  
'Cause you are mine  
Forever love  
Watching me from up above_

~*~

Why does life have to be like this? Why does my heart have to ache so much? Why can't you be here, like I need you to be? Or why can't I be up there with you? Takuto won't let me go to you…I want to so badly…but he keeps holding me back. He says you wouldn't want me to give up and go to you. He says one day, in the far future, I'll be with you. Takuto means so much to me…

~*~

_And I believe  
That angels breathe  
And that love will live on and never leave_

~*~

I don't know what I'd do without him or Meroko. It's quite ironic, isn't it? The reason I'm alive right now is because of them and they're both shinigami's who came to _take _my life. Isn't it odd how things work out sometimes? They've given me hope, and no matter how much it hurts that you're gone, I know you're in my heart. You're in the moon that I look up to each night. You're with me, even though you're not. Does that sound silly? I'm sure it does…Takuto calls me a silly girl all the time and I guess I am.

~*~

  
Fly me up  
To where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile  
To know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are

~*~

I'm silly because part of me believes that you can still hear me. Maybe….just maybe I can sing loud enough for my voice to reach you up in heaven, over all the songs of the angels, and…maybe you're listening to me right now and smiling down at me. Do you like my songs? I wrote them for you. See Eichi-kun…I made my dream come true, just for you. I really did it…thank you for all the strength you gave me. Even now, when I think of you, the cold hurt I recently felt is melting and it's being replaced by the warmth of your memory, the love that you put into your letter to me, and the kindness of my new friends. You might not be as far away from me as I thought…in fact…it feels like you're right here beside me. And you are, aren't you Eichi-kun? You're right by my side, protecting me while I live out my life to its fullest. I'll live it fully and completely and I'll be happy. One day Eichi-kun… when my time has truly run out…I'll fly up and join you in heaven. I'll hold you in my arms, and you'll hold me in yours, and everything will be perfect. I'll sing you my songs and we'll dance together under the bright, full moon and you'll know that I love you.

  
  ~*~  
  
_I know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_


End file.
